The Decision.

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Time is the ultimate God of all times. Time determines what needs to be restrained and what needs to be abolished. Time gives life yet raises no child. Time takes life yet buries no corpse. Time speaks of no man yet seeks the destiny of all men. Time hears no word yet listens all prayers ... Time is invisible...Time is what all of us await for. 

          Time is like a soccer ball in the middle of field. It takes no part in either side. In fact it is inter-linked with every individual player . It is an object that bounces, speeds, flies, leaps, curls, rolls, spins, and what not with an external force applied from a player and travels into the direction intended. Unless one manages, either deliberately or out of ignorance, to thrust into a wrong direction, time never betrays one. Due to such factor, there are moments where one finds summoned with immense of joys, pleasures, contentment, hopes, and blah blah...there are moments where one finds devastated with furies, anxieties, catastrophes, poverty, and blah blah...Nevertheless, the very root cause to all the aforementioned feel of congeniality and disdain boils down in one's choice of calibrating and binding the final decision. D-E-C-I-S-I-O-N, a word that was coined with eight letters, may sound pleasing and feel light at first. However, when confronted with making of future career/next phase of life decision within a very limited amount of time, and I mean very very very limited to about 5-10 minutes or so, the eight lettered word is no different than a whole world being weighed upon you. With every tick of clock, the weight gets heavier and heavier. It was the day,

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 when I with some other scholarship-fulfilled-candidates were waiting outside the BCCI (Bhutan Chamber of Commerce and Industry) building to be called in any moment of second. My thoughts and decisions were vague for I wasn't sure what scholarship spot will be left for me. Seconds disappeared into minutes and minutes into hours, yet still I held myself together firm and rigid for I pondered to see if my hard works paid off and the prayers I have been making reached the God. It was around 3-ish (late afternoon), when I finally heard someone at the BCCI door calling, "Tshering Penjor from Bajothang Higher Secondar School". Loaded with excitements and joys, I gushed through the doorway and into the building I perished. I had a wait in the lounge for few minutes and then a fine man (who I later found out was the Scholarship Division Officer) walked to me and said, "There is a spot to America and couple others to Australia and Canada. Your maths score is excellent. You should pick one among these." ....See, here's the thing. I always wanted and dreamed of becoming an engineer, a civil engineer--to be more specific, and the offers that I was made at that very moment was the last thing I wanted as my career, i.e. teaching. This time, "TIME" awaited for me. Time threw me into the thickest of soup and shallowest of the valley. For a minute, my thoughts froze and visions diminished. I had to man up! And I did. I saw the broader picture of life in traveling overseas and knowing the norms that I have not even heard or had the slightest clue of. I ditched what I thought would be my primary career and took charge of what I very disrespectfully looked down onto. That DECISION altered my entire future play. 

       I landed in the United States of America on August 21, 2007, and joined the Hiram College Orientation Program for International Students the following morning. From the very first day on, I started observing the differences in culture, society, people, communication, environment, and so on, and quit often contrasted with how and where I was born and raised. At times, I felt like a left out puzzle piece who is trying to fit in. My first semester in Hiram College was a total nightmare. I had the least (or may be not at all) knowledge of using a computer. As a matter of fact, I wasn't even sure how to turn ON and OFF my laptop. To the worse, my typing speed was very very very slow. For instance, if I was to type the word "cow", it would take me few seconds to look for letter "o" after hitting "c" button. All the class works, home works, assignments, and notifications were posted through the cite called "Sakai" that was created by Hiram College. And I always had trouble logging in for I would either forget the "password" or accidentally keep the "Caps Lock" on. During my first day of class (Calculus I), I walked into the class late. I was literally embarrassed when all the class plus the professor stared at me. Well, that wasn't only the day I was late for class. Many a times I would be late and the professor would ask out 

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loud, "What's the time?"  Poor me, blushing and embarrassed, would look up on the wall clock and say, "8:40.....8:35......8:50....8:33...." The class time was at 8:30 a.m. Time itself has become a challenge. 

       Aside from walking late in the class, I was astonished by the interaction between professors and students. To the extreme, I even heard and saw some calling their "Professor" just by the name, which I thought  was an "eristic imitatio" compared to back home. I mean, in Bhutan and many parts of the world, if you call your teacher/professor by their name, you are likely to be punished or if the situation worsens then you are more likely to be suspended from school. 

       The trend of contrast in terms of interaction/communication wasn't limited to school but to home. I was even more astonished how polite and soft-spoken the American parents were to their child/children. So, far I have never seen or heard a parent either raising their voice or hand against their children. It, in fact, is what I never saw or experienced back home. Just to let you in my secret room, many a times I was beaten by my teachers and parents. Yes! I was mad, angry, helpless, and had all those negative/crazy thoughts against them during those days. However, because of those days sufferings and laments, this is what I am now shaped into. Yes! I am thousands of miles away from home. Yes! I don't have any biologically related family/relative around. Yes! I am battling alone. Yes! I have confronted and can still confront whatsoever situation I am placed into.  Yes! I am fearless. Yes! I am ready to stand on my own and start a family. Yes! I am my side kick. YES!!! I am proud and grateful to those merciless teachers and parents. And YES! I thank them every day of my life. 

       Like wise, if I am to mention each and every situation I am confronted with, then there are tens and hundreds. 

       Having faced and said all the aforementioned challenges and contrasts, I am very content with the choice I made approximately four years ago. The choice that wide opened my eyes to see the outside world. The choice that cracked my shell of conservatism to a social life. The choice that my younger's now look upon me as a role model. The choice that I can now go home and fill the existing knowledge of those less fortunate ones about the outside world...Through thick and thin, I survived all these fours years. Now, I await for May 16, 2010.